Major News Events Of The ’90s (As Interpreted By Me, Who Was A Small Child At The Time)
April 6, 1992 — December 14, 1995 — The Bosnian War — I don’t know what this one was about. I just know that it really upset Peter Jennings and it was all he would talk about. Sometimes it made me miss Tiny Toon Adventures.
January 20, 1993 — The first inauguration of President Clinton — Bill Clinton is declared president! Which is like a king, but better! He’s like America’s king! I don’t know any better, I just got here!
February 28 — April 19, 1993 — The Waco Siege — These people went to church for so long that they decided to live there, but it was a bad church. So the police came and made them stop.
October 3, 1995 — The acquittal of O.J. Simpson — This guy who was a famous football football player a long, long time ago, like before I was even born, drove his car sooooooo slow that it made people die. But he did not go to jail because his driving gloves did not fit and his lawyer was really cool.
August 31, 1997 — Death of Diana, Princess of Wales — This lady who was like a real live princess and probably lived in a castle and everything died. The news people said she was the princess of all the whales. My mom said it was a country called Wales and not the sea creatures, but that doesn’t sound right to me.
January 17, 1998 — The news of the Monica Lewinsky Scandal broke — President Clinton (America’s king from earlier) became the first person in the history of the entire world to do gross stuff with someone he wasn’t married to. It was horrible and it broke America and made everyone mad.
December 31, 1999 — Y2K — We bought all kinds of cans of food and stuff because the entire world was going to break and everyone was going to die and we wouldn’t be able to play on the computer anymore. But then nothing happened and I still had to do my paper route.
Originally published at http://christopher-duvall.com on July 12, 2021.