Our Conception Party: FAQ!
Celebrate the creation of new life!
1.) When and where?
July 14th, 7:00pm, at our house! (Directions are on the invitations) Things will probably get underway sometime between 7:45 and 8:15pm, as Dave has a small window between drinks and headaches. Don’t forget to RSVP by the 1st! We’ve gotten a lot of questions, but not many RSVP’s!
2.) Do we need to do anything?
We will be serving wine, chocolate covered strawberries, whipped cream, corndogs, pigs in a blanket, and oysters. No need to bring a thing — party food abounds!
3.) What is this party?
Before the christening, before the baby shower, and before the gender reveal comes the conception party! While not a popular phenomena yet, it is a wonderful chance for all of our friends and family to be apart of this new life right from the very beginning.
4.) Why?
We’ve met so many of our friend’s and sibling’s little ones and we wished we could have been there to cheer on the creation of said babies. So we wanted everyone who is important to us to be there the very second Mr. Sperm meets Mrs. Egg!
5.) Will we have to do anything?
What’d you have in mind, tiger? Ha Ha! This is a beautiful act of creation between two people and their audience. This is Dave’s turn to ‘push.’ All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the party!
6.) Will we see anything?
No, not directly, but our doctor has offered to set up an ultrasound in the living room so you guys can see all the action and get the inside scoop! Dr. Malment assures us that it’ll be more like the christening of a ship than anything pornographic.
7.) Will we hear anything?
This isn’t about pleasure, this is about building a family! The only thing you will hear is silent determination, like Michelangelo sculpting the David.
8.) What happens after?
We’ve asked our moms to each lift one of my legs so gravity can do its part in the process! We thought it was very important to have the two amazing women that made us take part in this next step in our lives together. My mom will be lifting the left, while Dave’s mom lifts the right: the same sides they occupied during the wedding!
9.) What if it doesn’t take?
Then clear your calendar! JK! We have made peace with the fact that this may end up being largely ceremonial. However, we have been exploring the possibility of live-streaming the ultrasound every time we try. You all will be emailed Zoom links. No pressure to join though!
10.) Isn’t this kinda gross?
Isn’t exclusion grosser?
11.) Isn’t this a little too much like “The Handmaid’s Tale”?
Now who’s being gross?
12.) A question that nobody bothered to ask: Is there going to be a theme?
Yes, Roman Bacchanalia! Toga! Toga! Toga!
Hope to see you there!
