The Baker’s Oven: A Theory About Life In The Early Pandemic

I have a theory I would like to run by you.

Do you recall in the early days of the pandemic when we were all at home for the first time?Everything was closed.

Do you then remember the fact that you could not get a roll of toilet paper to save your life?

Gone! Vanished from the shelves! People feared being at home without it! For weeks and weeks not a sheet of Cottonelle to be had!

Now, shifting from that a second.

Do you recall also that everyone you know was all of a sudden very, very into bread making?

Friends and relatives who showed inclination towards the baking arts. Yet also a rash of pro level production from associates who you were certain did not know how to operate a toaster.

Several loaves a day, sliced evenly and to perfection

And so, taking these two threads in hand, I propose…

People were wiping their ass with the bread.

One gently folded slice of white, wheat, or rye, right up the old dirt ditch.

It’s the only thing that makes sense to me.

Take it easy, pally.

Thanks for listening.

Originally published at http://christopher-duvall.com on August 4, 2021.